Memory of a Moment

It is an odd feeling, to be the one who remembers the most.

I remember people I only spent a day with; they cling to my brain with a tight grip, refusing to let go. It’s a mortifying thing to remember all, yet also a gift when you use it correctly. Memory serves us in a way, that we choose the moments we wish to dwell on. I always find myself riddled with remembering people. I’ll never forget people I spent a few measly hours with. I don’t forget the tone someone used to talk to another, and it will haunt me till morning. I dwell on a memory of a person, because I feel some people should be remembered. Maybe I don’t know them, and perhaps I will never see them again; but I’d rather have a great moment captured in time with an acquaintance, then have never had the moment at all. It is also quiet fascinating how one moment from one person will stick in your head; that moment had such an impact, it never leaves you. I always remember being at a family friends birthday party, and one boy came up -who had been very reserved most of the night- and just introduced himself. We didn’t talk later that night, nor did we talk after it; though I remember his confidence, and the subtle intrigue he had to know who I was. I remember a neighbor who I only saw for three days, before they stopped coming to my house; they taught me how to whistle on a leaf of grass. I remember they were reserved, but filled with knowledge of little things. Neither of these people might even remember me, but both memories serve me very well.
The boy who introduced himself taught me that it is worth that one moment in time, to just have no fear; even if the only words spoken between two people is their name.
The neighbor taught me that not all knowledge should be shared; some mysteries shouldn’t be solved till the person gives you the clues.
People are fascinating, and the only way to preserve them is through memory, however tiny. Don’t be afraid to be the only one that remembers, be afraid of being the one who forgets.

Each tiny moment in time is significant, if you let it be.

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Book Lovers Q’s – Tag

A thank to the lovely Grace () for tagging me, (and anyone else who I missed)

Do you have a specific place for reading?
Usually in a VERY quiet room; that is of the utmost importance when I’m reading.

Bookmarks or a random piece of paper?
I do have bookmarks, but to be completely honest sometimes I lay the book open and face the pages downward; and just come back to it later without having to open and close the book.

Can you just stop anywhere, or do you need to finish a chapter?
Finish a chapter! I cringe beyond belief if I stop in the middle of a page.

Do you eat or drink while reading?
I’ve tried multiple times, considering that I’m a snack-a-holic; but I find it to distracting to eat/drink while reading.

Music or TV while reading?
Tried this as well, but I also find it distracting. Even if I’m listening to music without words, it disrupts the mood of the book.

One book at a time, or several?
One book at a time; last time I tried to do two at a single time, I kept mixing up the stories and getting lost in translation.

Do you prefer to read at home, or elsewhere?
I can read anywhere where there is quiet; whether it be my home or someone else’s, or just a random spot.

Read out loud, or silently?
Funny, because I’ve tried reading out loud to help my pronunciation; however I feel that I can’t comprehend the book as well when read aloud, and I can’t imagine the voices or scenery in my head as well.

Do you read ahead or skip pages?
Guilty as charged. Books of the modern age, I definitely skip over needless details that have already been said, and sometimes I’m so engrossed that I scan the next few lines in hopes of a happy ending. However, older books I haven’t done that with.

Breaking the spine or keeping it new?
Oh I love breaking the spine! My dad was actually the first person I ever saw do it, and I’ve done it to almost every book I could. I only bend, for the purpose of the pages not having that incessant curl in the middle; it helps lay them flat when you crack the spine. It’s hard to do on hardcover books, but generally those never need a good crack.

Do you write in your books?
Not at all, though I’m guilty of having drawn on the beginning page of my Great Gatsby book, and also underlining (with pencil) some of my favorite things within a favorite book of mine.

For any other fellow book lover out there, do this challenge! You may come to find something new or forgotten in your hidden pleasures of reading.

The Result of Acting Against Fear

 

Fear has a way of clouding judgement; like producing this gigantic veil that’s so translucent you don’t even realize it’s there. All my life this veil has plagued every one one of my ventures, from birth to now. Everything to me has always had some underlying bad thing connected to it, and that veil increases when the anxiety brick hits me.

My classes are where my attitude towards fear has been shifted. They set their classes up as little live lessons; all the teachers and all the students for a particular class meet to discuss what’s due for the week, and go over tough lessons. There are always parts within these lessons, where students can contribute opinions or read part of the lesson.

Having been a student there for three years now, I’ve volunteered here and there, but  anxiety constantly got the best of me; heart starts pounding out my chest and my whole body shakes endlessly. So I refrained from nothing more than commenting in our little chat-box. Recently, however, my attitude has shifted. I’ve pushed myself to start talking in the chat more, talking to the other students, taking the whiteboard in situations when I know I’m capable. I wasn’t expecting anyone to take notice, -or perhaps it’s just because I rarely did it before- but I got so much approval from my fellow classmates and teachers. One teacher even reached out to say she was glad I participated more.

And my most recent painting and the post I made for it.. I was so skeptical of whether it was worth posting. It can be a difficult thing to manifest something you think is worth talking about over the internet, without feeling like you’ll be criticized just for speaking your mind. The post has actually gained much traction, which was so uplifting to me because I didn’t try to veil my opinion in it. It was just simply me speaking like I would to anybody.

What I’ve learned -from the brief weeks of undergoing this established “experiment”- is that sometimes fear takes the place of the unknown. It can take place where you’d initially have no feeling, so fear creeps its way into the crevices and devours the moment. While fear of the common things that are always overplayed and overrated in movies shouldn’t be overlooked, there comes a time and a place when fear needs to get shoved back down into the hole it belongs in. It may be just as surprising to you as it was to me to find the winsome outcomes that can come along with it; like realizing the potential that you have in yourself.

Another One – Liebster Award

I feel like I’ve done one too many of these and I’m starting to lose my mysteriousness… Not that I probably had any to begin with but, here we go.

Thank you to the lovely Leah for nominating me (and anybody else who did)

My questions I must answer:

1. Do you prefer sweet or sour candy?

Sweet for sure; though I’m a sucker for sweets in general.

2. Coffee or Tea?

Eh, neither honestly. I would prefer water over anything, but if I had to pick a different liquid it’d have to be hot cocoa.

3. Favorite movie?

One that has stuck with me through the years is American Beauty; I take something away from it everytime I watch it. And I find it a great resemblance of the different kinds of people.

4. What do you seek to accomplish with your blog?

To see how I progress as a person throughout my years; and also it allows me to get my thoughts into the air, which I often have trouble with in real life.

5. What do you think about conspiracy theories (had to ask, ha)?

Some are reasonable; though I find most are made up of satires.

6. Do you prefer your hair long or short?

Long for sure. My hair is wavy/curly, so shorter hair equals frizzier hair in my case and I’m not up for having that.

7. Do you wish you named your blog differently?

Not at all; I’ve always loved my blogs name, and I find it a perfect fit for me.

8. Age?

16, 17 in a few short months.

9. Books or movies?

NO! Ugh… If I had to pick long term? Books.

10. Warm or cold weather?

I prefer a mix of both, but I’d rather endure cold weather.

11. Dogs or cats?

Dogs; cats act like they own the world, and I don’t appreciate that.

Now for my nominees: (I apologize if you have been nominated, but I honestly don’t follow many people so.. sorry)

Scripturientfriends!

Pens and Castles on a Cloud

Daily Inklings

Passions and Ambitions

Miss Magic’s Memoir

Questions you must answer:

1: Do you wish you had started your blog differently?

2: Favorite thing you last heard?

3: One word to describe your online life.

4: Do you think yourself a optimist or pessimist?

5: A physical attribute you notice first in others?

6: Camping or napping? (Neither are related, but I’m curious)

7: Stars in the sky or Christmas lights hanging in your room?

8: Favorite quality in anothers writing?

9: Something you despise?

10: One thing you wish you wrote more about?

(If I didn’t nominate you, feel free to still answer the questions in a comment)