Dead Leaves Pull Harder

Trees have leaves; obviously. Though have you ever noticed that sometimes it’s just as hard, if not harder to pull a dead leaf off than a fresh one?
This is sort of how life works; newer things in your life are easier to separate yourself from, whereas something that’s been in your life for awhile is harder to detach from. I thought to myself that all these leaves, are attached to trees that give the leaves life; even still, leaves die. It reminded me, that not all things that appear to benefit you, truly do or will in the long haul. As far as people go, we sometimes cling to what we want or what we need; in the most harsh of cases we lose our morals, our minds, our hearts, or our life. Sometimes it’s not even our choice to be a leaf on a certain tree.

There is an upside though.. While leaves die, and crunch under your feet during the Fall, don’t they also come back in the Spring? You may lose your color and be a detached leaf on the ground, but there’s a new bloom just around the corner. Maybe you’re meant to be knocked down to be picked up.

Truth be told, you can crumble like a leaf many times attached to your tree of life. You just have to decide whether or not to bloom again.


Needing Myself

It’s funny how easy it can be for someone to tune out the world; to just breath in air that only gets filtered through their lungs.

I’ve always needed that.
To walk outside and feel a cleansing air, filled with the smells of freshly damp grass, blooming flowers; to hear the hum of bark around a tree, or the whistling song of leaves.

I’ve always needed that.
To feel the brisk short strokes of pencil across a paper, to hear the soft flick of paint against a canvas, to see the splash of water as I clean the bristles.

I’ve always needed that.
To get entranced in pages, reading a story that isn’t mine, realizing my life is a subtle story compared to these masquerading characters.

I’ve always needed that.
To have the minuscule moment in time where the only person in my world is me, and I feel the grand flush of red across my cheeks as my energy refills. To know that I’ve come back revitalized, filled with jovial aura once more.

I’ve always needed that.
To be my best self for the good of others, I must focus on being my best; by myself.

No Comparison

Everyone experiences pain in their own way. A bobby-pin prick could be as painful to one person, as falling off your bed is to another. It bothers me when I see comparisons made between, “who had it worse?” and “you’ll never experience my pain.”

The matter of it is, no one can have it necessarily worse than another; you can’t compare pain when it’s unique to the individual. It could be true; they’d never feel your pain through what you experienced but that doesn’t mean that hurt won’t be inflicted upon them some other way. Some people can be more emotionally or physically damaged than others, and most people operate under the premise of, “If I can’t see it, it’s not that bad.” so emotional scaring is one most people take for granted in discussions.

Everyone trudges through their own hell; whether it be abuse, divorce, belittling, bullying, treachery, or simply your own mind and self is caving in. Can you really put those things side by side and say one inflicts more damage than another?

With all this in mind, I’d love to see such a change where we don’t belittle the things that hurt others, but rather bring the person out of its shell. Hollow out the grave which they were put into. Break apart the icicle that surrounds their life. Help give them a warm glow of something meaningful, helpful; something to remind them there is such a glorious fire of love in the world. There’s such a mix of good and evil in the world, and picking apart someone’s problems like they mean nothing just feeds into the abyss. There’s always a choice to be on the good parallel, to make problems known and to help others through it. I know which side I’m on;

do you?


“The world is a mess and I want to laugh because all I can think is how horrible and beautiful it is.” – Tahereh Mafi, Ignite Me







Is Everyone Being Heard Correctly?

There’s something intriguing in someone having a talent; even more-so when the talent is meant as a getaway or form of expression. Do we only have “talents” because we were forced to find a way to express ourselves?

Often people have a hard time being up-front about how they are feeling, even if the common nature of people is to talk about themselves. It occurred to me today that I’ve met a multitude of people who have -what most people would regard as- not having any sort of specific talent to their persona; and it hit me that most of the time these human beings tend to be straightforward and sincere. They have no need for a personal outlet because they are their own personal outlet.

Yet the people that sit with an inner mind full of turmoil that always have thoughts flowing through their head that they either never speak of or never have the time too, have a way of expression. Music, laughter, writing, art, magic, beauty, crafting, creating, cooking, sports, all become ways for said person to say what they need to say when they can’t actually verbalize it.

However, what if it is just simply wrong to dote on the fact that talents need to be so grand? Why can’t a talent be wiggling your toes, or catching your phone when you throw it up? What if by making the word “talent” seem like such a big deal, you force the people who are usually forthright, to subject themselves to some sort of creative hobby in order to be heard?

In a world where creativity is all around us at the touch of our fingertips, it can be easy to skip over the people who have something to say, but you ignore their words because you’d rather interpret it through a “talent” rather than actually listen. Because why waste time, in a universe that thrives off of five second attention spans?

And even further, are we subjecting the ones with creative hobbies to constantly be posting and showing more of their “talent”? Those things were created by them for them, in order to be free of their thoughts, not so you could get a daily dose into the mind of them;  we make them create in order for them to say something, but anyone can run out of words.

So I sit on the threshold of a question; is it better to be the talker who no one can hear, or to be the creator who creates for a puppeteer?



Love Yourself, But Nourish The Good Parts

I think the ability for someone to be comfortable in their skin is something of a profound nature; it’s not easy to love absolutely everything about yourself, but it can be simple to accept them.

I believe the concept of “loving all and everything about you” remains unattainable. You aren’t going to like all the parts of your self -whether physical, mental, or spiritual- just as you don’t appreciate every single quality in others; but you do learn to accept other peoples “flaws”, right?

It will tear you down to pick apart the things you don’t like about yourself; don’t try to change aspects that you cannot fix by inherent nature. For instance, I don’t especially appreciate that I was born with my mothers high hips and chocolaty brown eyes, but I can’t change either of those factors; though over the years I’ve learned to accept them. I didn’t learn to accept them because someone said they love my eyes, or because I’m complimented on my figure; I learned them by spending time in the mirror, thinking about how I’m the only individual with my rich brown eyes paired with my short torso and high hips. They are aspects of me that make me the unique skeleton of a person called Madison.

No one else besides you carries around the ability to make yourself comfortable in your own skin when you are alone or with others. You start little; maybe you like the shape of your hands, or the depth of your cupids bow, and think about how unique that is to you. Appreciate that every curve and every line that makes up your body is like a piece of art; there’s only one original in the world. You don’t have to love your whole self, but you can like the little things here and there that come together to make you, and take into consideration that what your mind perceives as imperfections may have been subconsciously put there; if we weren’t surrounded by billions of people to compare ourselves too, I highly doubt we would find imperfections in ourselves.

You have the ability to nourish the physical aspect of yourself when you aren’t surrounded by the endeavors of anothers negativity.





You’re Your Own Problem

Societies standards of men and women today definitely vary on the culture of where you live, but we can all agree that they exist. A lot of us -to call you and myself out- try to live upto these standards; whether it be peer pressure or the weight of the world feels like it’s crushing you.

However, I was thinking just today, “Can we really blame society if we ourselves allow our mind to be susceptible to the labels?” In my opinion, I do think that people can be influenced by what surrounds them but only if they let them.

Allowing yourself to subject your heart & mind to what society wants can’t all be blamed on them, it’s also what you do to yourself. The thoughts of wanting to be skinnier, healthier, wealthier, wanting a different lifestyle, a different look, they may be influenced by something in the moment; but you choose to dwell on it when you’re alone with no one pushing you towards those things.
It takes self-reflection at its highest to realize that you are causing your own pain; but once it’s realized it is like discovering a part of yourself you never knew about.

So before we all go blaming everything surrounding us -I am guilty of having done this in the past- take into consideration how much damage you have the ability to do to yourself, because that’s what will get you in the end.

Selfish or Self-Care – Struggle

“I say, you do have a heart!’
‘Sometimes,’ he replied. ‘When I have the time.’ ” – Jules Verne, Around the World in Eighty Days

Is there such a thing as being selfish with your time? Priorities in someones life can differ on how said person chooses to live; priorities can vary from being with family to having a bad habit of procrastination. People see time as valuable, like every second not spent doing something is time wasted; realistically if there wasn’t a measure of time to subject you too limited space to do things, ‘time’ wouldn’t be valuable, it’d just be there.

I find it rather cringe worthy when people expect my whole world to revolve on their time, and they get offended when you set your own schedule. Why do I have to sit ridiculed for spending time with family, or focusing on school rather than going to hangout with friends? My priorities don’t revolve around the gossip in our high-school lives and maintaining a ‘cliche’ notion of being best friends. My priorities are creating memories with my family, however meager; and focusing on myself so that I’m not agonizing in my adult life. Is that such a horrible thing?

I have always lived my life for others -though not as self-destructing now as it once was-, and there are moments in my life when I actually have the energy and the time to dedicate myself to the other things in my life that need help; if anything I am making sure that my best self is available 100% to certain aspects of my time, instead of being negligent to everything 100% of the time. It’s unrealistic for someone to dedicate themselves to everything on their plate in equal portions; people are supposed to pace themselves.

So referring back to the beginning quote, I can completely relate because when I can dedicate myself to outside things, it is whole-heartedly; but when I have things to do that are important, I will push aside the trivial things..

Because what’s selfish about knowing how to take care of yourself so you aren’t stressed? I have no idea, but others may have opinions on the matter; guess they take their time seriously.